this one is going to the judges.

To win a traditional boxing match; you either knock out your opponent, earn a technical knock out (by knocking them down three times in a round), beat them so bad that they are ruled unable to fight or after all 12 rounds are finished, the judges decide who the winner was. I feel like my walk with Christ is often similar to a boxing match ( i know that doesn't sound to appealing the masses) where who I am and who God wants me to be are pitted against each other.  Typically, when I finally allow  a part of me to battle with what God wants me to be in that area, God's will knocks me out.

However, a fight going on inside of me right now is seeming to be one that will take a while to be sorted out.

As I read the Bible (specifically Matthew and Luke), I read some things that I don't really want for my life....

-the Bible talks about how the disciples ( and office of pastors) should not make a lot of money.

-the Bible tells me that when I am doing right and being accused, I should go the extra mile in reconciliation without defending myself.

-the Bible tells me that I should be much less concerned with my family than I am about spreading the Gospel.

-the Bible tells me that those who radically followed God, spent "me-time" hearing from God.

-the Bible tells me that I should not allow things (tv, music, people are good examples for me) to influence me to impurity.

-the Bible tells me that the competitiveness I have isn't from Him.

-the Bible tells me that being GREAT  in His eyes, most likely means that I will never be considered GREAT on earth.

I wish that I had never read those things.  I wish that I could live for the prosperity gospel with a clear conscience.  I wish that being a successful Pastor was Jesus' chief goal for me.

I know the responses...."what Jesus actually meant was" or to just ignore those things and live the "good life".   I want this to be the way to think.

but it is not.

Jesus meant those things.

and I am having a hard time accepting and applying them to my life.  In fact, it is going to have to take God Himself, changing my mind to carry them out.

as for now, the fight goes on..

... and it doesn't look like anyone is going down anytime soon.